“Ghosting,” a method of ending a relationship by ceasing all forms of communication and simply vanishing — like a ghost. Humans, of course, have always been rejecting one another; ghosting is just a newfangled form facilitated by technology, particularly online dating apps.
It’s often used in dating and friendship contexts but ghosting in work contexts is also rampant — among co-workers, during professional networking and in the hiring process, even among those trying to get a job.
Suddenly cutting off contact with a romantic partner or professional colleague, never to be heard from again, is rude and should happen much less than it currently does. But what about the other, less egregious ways we might blow off each other’s messages, especially at work? In these exhausting times, when so many are overburdened with family responsibilities, stress, grief and anxiety, perhaps we should let go of the outdated, demanding requirement to participate in ceaseless back-and-forth conversations.
For those of us who strive to be polite, text-based digital communications — all those chimes and dings and vibrations — can be extremely demanding. Ignoring a Slack, email or text message feels rude, but should it? Daniel Post Senning of the Emily Post Institute, which offers advice and training on good manners, states that when our phone rings, we’re under no obligation to answer it. “You have to be a civil and decent person, but you don’t have to give your time and attention to everyone who asks for it.” (NYT, 7/12/2022)
As far as in the work place contest, employers are now making it easier for job seekers to apply online, and applicants can apply for many jobs with just a few clicks. This allows applicants to cast a wide net, but also for them to apply for jobs in which they’re not very interested. Job offers are extended but no response from the applicant, or in many cases the applicant accepts the job but doesn’t show up and cuts off all communication. While the conversation can feel awkward, employers would rather know where they stand and can understand when a potential employee decides to go in a different direction. Staying in contact also gives employers the opportunity to counter another company’s offer. You never know what repercussion that could have and what if you want to come back and apply for that job down the road. You’ve burned that bridge with that specific employer.
There are situations that are difficult but need to be addressed. It's the right thing to do so that one can move on. Other situations warrant peace of mind and you have to discern what is best for you. Technology is wonderful in so many ways, but I do miss the quieter days of not being instantly accessible.
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